Something happened. This is not going to be bloody.

Chapter 189 Extra - Abandoning Husband and Son - Liu Wuqing

My name is Liu Wuqing, an ordinary person with a life full of ups and downs.

When I was young, there were two sons in my family. I should have been the youngest son who was the most beloved in the family, but I was only ignored and treated with indifference.

For many years afterwards, I was unable to get over the influence of my original family.

I was admitted to university and became a professor. I was considered a good son and a good brother by my parents and brother.

I was banished and became a stranger whom they avoided.

I don't remember who said that some people are born with a weak bond with their parents, and I might be one of them.

When I was in the detention room, I looked at the words carved on the wall with stones. It was an accusation of blood and tears, a choice between life and death. I also thought about leaving, but in the end I didn't have the courage. It wasn't for anyone that I stayed, I just didn't have the courage.

From my birth to the road of exile and then to my later life in the countryside, my life reached the lowest abyss.

I still remember that when I first arrived in Xiahewa, I didn’t even dare to lie flat on my back at night because that would intensify the feeling of hunger and I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep.

Our family all sleeps on their side every day.

I never knew my wife was so capable. She went into the mountains to collect herbs, dig wild vegetables, chop wood, and take care of two children. In Xiahewa, I did much less than she did.

The only thing I feel ashamed and guilty about in my life is that I suspect my wife of being unfaithful to me and that she has done unclean things in order to feed the children and to have a bite of food.

I always thought I had iron will and firm self-confidence, but it turned out that I overestimated myself. The external environment and bad rumors made me lose my inner trust.

My inferiority complex makes me feel that Wan Xin will not come here to live a hard life just for me.

Inferiority complex also makes me feel that I am not as good as a hunter in the village. At least he can feed and clothe his wife and children, and they don’t suffer from hunger or poverty.

I never thought that life in Xiahewa would get better and better. I thought I would die in a foreign land.

In such a poor place, the envy seen in the eyes of those rough people actually made me feel proud.

Knowledge and learning cannot fill my stomach, but Wan Xin’s medical skills and hard work ensure that my family has no worries about food and clothing.

I have always had a guess in my mind that the wild boar and even the hunter whose hand was broken and tongue was cut off were all done by Wan Xin. But so what, at least the four of us escaped alive.

I was finally vindicated.

I still remember the excitement and sadness I felt at that time, but Wan Xin was very calm and even reminded me not to let my tears fall on the documents.

The Wanxin of the newlywed days and the Wanxin who was a doctor when we lived together in the city have gradually faded away. The only one left is Wanxin who is working hard to live in Xiahewa. He is the redemption of the darkest past in my ups and downs.

In fact, if Wan Xin had divorced me at the beginning, she would have been the backbone of the hospital now. But because she followed me on a long journey, there is no position for her now. Wan Xin said she wanted to steam buns, and I supported her.

I heard my wife say, "Actually, Xiahewa has left a shadow on me. I don't want to practice medicine anymore. I just want to stock up on food. I'm afraid of starving in Xiahewa."

I felt extremely uncomfortable. I felt guilty, grateful, and sad about the miserable life I had in the past.

I think as long as Wan Xin is happy, she can do anything. What's wrong with steaming buns? Making money through her own labor is good.

It was obvious that Wan Xin was in better health, but she was ahead.

Later, I often wondered if it was because I overdrawn my body's energy when I was young that she left me and passed away at an age when she should have been enjoying her life.

After Wan Xin left, I followed my daughter to Shanghai, where I met Wei Lanfeng whom I hadn't seen for many years. He seemed to have not changed much from when he was in Xiahewa. He was wearing a Zhongshan suit, glasses and a hat, with his brows lowered and his head down.

I remember the first thing Wei Lanfeng said to me when he saw me was:

"Good people don't live long, but evil lives on for thousands of years. Good people like Doctor Wan are gone, but people like you and me are still alive."

When I heard the other person say this, I strangely felt a sense of agreement.

I heard Wei Qiu say to his father:

"Dad, what are you talking about? My father-in-law is such a good man. He is a great scholar and scientist."

I didn't want them to have a disagreement because of me, so I said, "Old Wei is right."

After Wan Xin left, my daughter, son-in-law and I lived in Shanghai. I never thought about going home to stay for a while, or even to take another look.

That is where I recorded every moment of my life with Wan Xin. Even now I have to admit that I am a coward.

Since arriving in Shanghai, I have never urged my son to find his own partner in our daily phone calls. At my age, there is nothing to be unhappy about. My children and grandchildren will have their own blessings.

At the age of eighty, I want to go back and see the home where I lived with her.

The shabby and dusty building I thought was gone. It turned out that my son and I made different choices. My son is as strong as her mother.

When I didn't know, my son would come back here to rest, and it felt like the time when his mother was still here, and this place was not deserted.

I looked at my son who was standing at the door to greet me. Suddenly, I saw the young Wan Xin. I went forward to hold his hand, and suddenly, my son's face appeared again. I heard him say:

"Dad, are you okay? Come in and sit down."

I held tightly the hand my son extended to me and walked into the familiar house, with its familiar layout and objects.

I've been away for decades, but it feels like I've only been away for a few days.

I slowly walked up to the second floor and entered the practice room. Everything here was the same as before, with only the faded furniture and damaged white walls showing the traces of time.

"Dad, don't get excited and take care of yourself." I heard my daughter's words behind me.

I turned back and said:

"I'm not excited. Don't worry. I want to move back. Ask Wei Qiu to mail all my things to me. I'll move back and live with your brother."

My daughter said:

"Dad, my brother doesn't live here all the time. He usually has to go to the laboratory to work, and he only comes here occasionally to pay attention. Let's stay here for a few days and then go back to the Magic City, right?"

I was in a state of confusion and thought for a long time. If I insisted on staying, I would probably cause trouble for my children.

I lived in the old house for five days. Before leaving, I sat on the chair where Wan Xin died, enjoying the warm comfort of the sun and the quietness of the room.

After a while, I heard my daughter's voice: "Dad, are you okay?"

When I turned around, I saw my daughter with red eyes, looking at me worriedly. I still remember saying, "Don't worry, I'm fine. Have you bought the plane ticket? What time are you leaving?"

The daughter said in a hoarse voice: "Dad, I will come back and live with you."

I shook my head in relief. We have been together for so many years, and I understand Wan Xin. If I move back in, he will probably think I am noisy. It is fine this way. It is good for my son to come back and accompany her occasionally.

Now I am sitting in my study in Shanghai, writing down every little bit, hoping that after I die, this letter will slowly rot with me and sink into the darkness together.